TSD is going to do some energy work to help with the bees in our area.   One of our members was asked to do some research on this but unfortunatley doesn't have access to a computer.  I was wondering if anyone would be able to give me some information on the crisis and possibly some of the flowers they prefer.  I would then be able to pass that info on to him.  We are doing this energy work on Thursday.  arctafire and vanadisflame, if you would give us specific info on your bees that would be greatly appreciated.  If there are others in this group that also have bees or know of others who need this energy, please let me know. 

H & B

Just sending a reminder to all you folks about t's b-day party this weekend.
thanks to those of you who have already told us of your arrivals.

hope to see you there.  if directions are needed please email us.

hugs and blessings to all. 
 

in the sights of our earth. 

on monday, while driving to york, pa.  we saw the most beautiful rainbows, yes rainbows.  we saw one around 4:30 (somewhere on 404), then we saw 2 more about 45 minutes later (somewhere on 100).  the colors of the rather large rainbows were so rich and thick and deep.  i've never seen ones that clear and every color was easily visible.  it was like someone had used brand new markers that were wide and pressed very hard into the sky as if it was the paper.  the lighter one was more of a watercolor that was imitating the more pronounced one.  unfortunately we could not stop to actually stare at it's wonder, but t did get a picture of it on his camera phone.  when he gets a chance i will see if he can post it for me.

the other moment was this morning.  i was going by the front door to turn on the light switch in the living room and the moon caught my eye from the little windows of the door.  wow, she was so pretty, her auras were huge and colorful and she was being framed by the magnolia tree that sits across from the door.  it was almost like she was saying take a picture, i look gorgeous today.  unfortunately, i tried that and my camera is not the right type to capture the moon.  

regardless, both moments filled me with that inner sense of peace and beauty.  of that feeling of, this is what the world could be like.  i treasure these moments as they come, i try to take the time to enjoy them and acknowledge them.  moments like this remind me of the common saying amongst us that "beauty is not always pretty".  it gives me that hope so that i may better recognize and remember that we still need all the other aspects of beauty in order to have those moments of pretty.  i have a much greater appreciation for all those things that i may not necessarily see, the behind the scenes that happen in order for us spectators to be able to see the pretty. 

does anyone know if we have hawks in this area? 

i swear i saw three of them today and i'm curious of the significance.  i know they weren't buzzards due to their wing span and colors.  i suppose they could have been very big owls but i didn't think that owls would be out during the day nor hang out with other birds.  i saw two of them in the morning when i left for work outside my house, actually across the street in the neighbors tree.  i almost missed them except they moved to fly away.  i thought at first they were buzzards but the colors weren't the same and they were a touch smaller.  it was just the two of them.  

then when i was leaving to go back home, about an hour later, i saw another one flying with a couple of seagulls over the marina behind the shop.  it was a beautiful sight but a bit puzzling.  i could see a little more detail on that one.  it was a big bird but still not quite as big as a buzzard and it had the coolest looking swirly shades of browns on it's wings.  none of them had the same head like a buzzard, either.   

it was cool but weird and unusual.  and it makes me ponder what it might mean.  maybe it doesn't mean anything and it's just a wonder of nature.

today is going to be a busy day.  i have to go into work a half hour earlier.  we've had to do 10 different funerals in the past 3 day.  half went out yesterday and the other half goes out today.   so, what a start to the morning.  then it's me and the boss the rest of the day.  hopefully, it won't be too crazy.  looks like the weather is a bit dreary, so i'm glad i'm not doing deliveries.  then, when i get home it's do the quick clean-up, especially now that the vacuum is working.  figure out dinner and go the grocery store.  gotta remember to turn on the heater in the sun room just in case, we have more than a handful of folks tonight.  i keep thinking there's something i'm supposed to do around 4 but it's not coming to mind.  stop over at dragonstead to pick up a drum.  and who knows, whatever else pops up in between.  
guests should be arriving around 7ish and from there i hope to be able to relax and enjoy the rest of the evening with friends.  

so, i hope everyone else's day goes well and i wish those going on journey's today that they have safe travels and fun and/or success in what they're doing.  

hugs to all

i love my mother but sometimes i just want to tell her to bugger off.  it's so hard to retrain your parents.  she lives with me, so, it's not like i don't see her everyday.  i'm trying to read chapter 7 and it's clear that i'm trying to read and she just sits down at the table and starts babbling about her day at school and asking me about my day.   i know she's just trying to make conversation and unwind a bit but i try not to bug her when she's studying.   why must she bug me when i'm trying to study?    argh....    i tried to make the best of it and work on another project that didn't require my full attention instead of getting irritated and telling her to leave me alone.   so, i will try to, no, i will  refocus and direct my energy back to chapter 7.   

just needed to blah for a moment.

a wonderful day to bring in the new year.

the wee hours of the morning were a little rocky for t and i, but as t and i do, once we get a talking things usually work out. then folks started to arrive for the "feast" cooked by the men of the households.
we had a pretty fun morning. i even relaxed a bit and laughed a lot. my cheek bones were a hurtin'. but for me, that's a good thing. so, thanks, to those who were here for breaky, for the very giggly morn.

the trip to take roger back was good and i barely even noticed the time go by. t and i got to do lots of chit-chatting like we used to. i really enjoy those times. the little boys were very good for us this trip which is a really big help to me, especially, since it is one of my least favorite things to drive over the bay bridge in either direction. the wonderful world of irrational fears, like of heights, of very large bridges and those motherly ones of the bridge collapsing and not being able to save the kids. but i will not let those fears get the best of me! ha! anyway, all in all, it was a good trip.

i thank vanadisflame and j for entrusting us to take care of their little ones. i hope the new addition is fitting in and enjoys her new home and mates. will catch up with you two, hopefully, over the weekend.

and now i must figure out a way to get my little night owl to stay in bed and go to sleep. only one more day of not being in school. and what joy it will be to get them back into routine for that. on that note, good night all and hope you had a new year's day blast.

hugs and blessings!


ps., p, thanks for sharing your yule gift with us. and yes, sometimes, the mood hair can change to a nice shade of fiesty-fun red, instead of crazy-lunatic red. it's all good;)

i forgot to mention that the fireplace thing that chraithe and dove gave us is really cool and works quite nicely. nana had a fire going when we got home last night and i had quiet time to sit and watch the fire along with it's reflection of the back side of the fire. i could still see all the flames coming from behind even though it looked like the fire was out from the front side.

so many thanks for the firewall thing!

so our late afternoon lunch ended up as dinner. my uncle didn't pay attention to the fact that the resturaunt he picked out didn't open till 4:30.
so, fortunately, there were go-karts next to the little plaza. alex went on the kiddie ones and he was cute, he went around about 4 or 5 times and then he dedided to park the car and get out. then roger and tim had a race on the family trak. shawn decided to wuss out. it was fun to watch them. then we walked over to the movie theater and dad gave us a gift card to take the kids there some time. that was cool. finally, the resturaunt opened, adriatico, a little italian place. it was pretty good and the kids got to have little baby pizzas. my go some to go for my grandmother and went back to her house.

i find it very sad to see her in the condition she is in. no one who lives with her or sees her often really gives her any reason, or help for that matter, to try to get better or at least to stay mobile. she seems to have gotten much worse since i was last there in september. so what if you have all the money to give her the best health care if you don't try to give her the best support emotionally to have will to live. my uncle just sits in his big chair and watches tv. occasionally, he gets up to get her a drink or to give her some dinner but he doesn't actually push her to get up and walk around or things like that. she can barely stand up now or even hold her cups. i just find it very sad. i wish that i had a little more time and money to drive to rehoboth all the time but i just don't.

i also find the fact that my family doesn't really act like family very sad. my dad tries. i feel like i don't really know my uncle or my aunts since none of them really talk to me. i have tried in the past to keep up on visits so they can know their great nephews and so that my kids would know their great grandmother but i never got responses from them or i would find out after the fact. so, to me the ball's in their court again. i just find it unfortunate that when we went to visit yesterday that my kids were afraid to hug their great grandma cuz they didn't really know who she was. they know more about tim's family who all live much further away. anyway, i have once again tried to open the communication lines with these folks, we'll see where it goes.

other than that, i'm hoping to have a nice day with my little ones and tim. we plan to go to bb&c to get tim his yule gift and possibly watch one of the many movies the kids received. check on nalla and the turtle and all the cats over there. maybe we'll even play a board game today. so, hopefully, we'll have a nice family kinda day.

tomorrow, will be hang out with the boys while tim's at work and plan to have new year's with nana and whomever else wants to hang with us. so, open invite to anyone who wants to come over to our place. if you come, just bring a snack and whatever drinks you want. then, new year's day, we travel to take roger back to his mother. after that, we go back to our regularly scheduled programs.

hope everyone has a great new year's eve and day!
many blessings and much rejoicing and fun!

thank you chraithe for fixing the puter. it's nice to have it back.
all is okie dokie here.

my dad and his wife are in town, so, we get to have a late lunch in rehoboth today. so exciting....blah.

hopefully, we'll get to go visit the bb&c to get tim a gift.

the kids are having a lot of fun playing with all their new games and watching movies and enjoying their time with their big brother.

dinner went well last night and for the most part everyone seemed to have a good time.

anyway, Happy New Year! to everyone if i don't get a chance to come back on before Monday.

off to work i go...

My computer was on the fritz over the weekend and didn't get fixed till yesterday.

Happy Birthday Maggi!!!

Sorry for the delay. hope you had a wonderful day.

hugs and blessings,
The Free Family

It's hard to know what to do when something is happening that you don't understand. It seems as if invisible forces are at work in fateful ways that can now overrule even your best of intentions. Instead of worrying about things you can't change, just focus your imagination on the best possible outcome. Reality may turn out closer to your dreams than you currently believe.

i thank all of you for sending whatever energies you did send. the update on that is: they are taking annette's foot tomorrow in hopes that she will be home for christmas. they feel that by doing this they will be able to stop the infection and better treat the other issues going on. apparantly, it is her foot that caused her to go systemic and not the uti. annette has decided not to give up, yet, despite how angry she is about losing her other foot.

i must apologize for how upset i was the other day. i do not usually react quite so spastically. it took me a good day to process all the info and everything else that is going on in life right now and memories that were coming back to me. i also realized that i have a more heightened sensitivity to everything (and i mean everything) because of the steroids that i've been taken.

so, i thank all of you who have shared your thoughts and let me, in a way, "vent" what i was feeling. i also thank all of you who didn't share your thoughts and for just letting me sort it out. it has really been a challenge and hard lesson for me to actually just sit and focus and work through this with a little less "wacked-out" emotion but rather with a bit more control and self-alignment. this is a good thing for me and has made realize how important it is to take care of myself, so, that i may better help take care of my family.

on a different note.... the fun begins at work. i'm so looking forward to saturday but it is going to be a very enduring day. i go to work at 10am until 1pm, then my son has a birthday party at 2pm, the babysitter will be here at 3pm, then off to seelie court by 4pm. and i have no idea what time tim is going to get out of work. hopefully, it will be early enough for him, so, he'll be able to make his yummie cookies to bring with us. wow, what a day it will be. tomorrow night i think i will work on making sure i sit and align before i go to bed, that way i will get a more restful sleep and be able to stay focused and on track.

again thanks everyone.
bright blessings!

annette's kidneys have started to function and so they have held off on the dialysis. thanks to those energies sent. unfortunately, they are seriously considering taking annette's other foot. she is a severe diabetic and she lost one foot to gangrene a couple of years ago and now the other foot has developed gangrene. this is not good because annette would rather die than to loose her other foot. so, i'm not sure what to ask for here.

one of the things that annette had asked us to do this comming summer was to visit them in alaska, since she has never met the younger boys nor myself. so, we were planning for that trip since annette can't come here. she herself even offered to help with the finances of that trip. she felt that her time on this earth is coming to an end sooner than later, so it was important to her to actually be able to meet her son's new family. this new development may not give us that opportunity. i'm not really sure how to deal with this, especially, since there is nothing that tim and i can really do. we are not being privy to helping this since it is a decision that truly only annette can make. his mother is obviously going to try to convince her to hang around but she isn't the final decision maker. i know that tim may be concerned that i am sending this but i am struggling as to how to deal with this and what it is i can do to help. i unfortunately, can not cope the same way that tim does and this is bit more difficult than i can handle right now.

as i said to another person earlier, i realize that this is the time of death and rebirth but this is a bit overwhelming. between my job, yaddle, all of the issues that so many of the people i know are having with finances and health and emotions, along with all of my own personal issues, and so on.... i'm just not sure how to cope with all this. so, any guidance or what not would be much appreciated.

many blessings to all those who may feel the same way that i do for i am sure i am not alone.

despite how cucky i'm feeling. need to make my yule gift for my secret person, get some laundry done, the dishes, and make some phone calls to pay a few bills. then of course, gotta get the kids and dinner and then work some more on getting these things done. i'm gonna try to even (maybe) take a really hot bath.

so that's all for now. catch up with you all later.


so, far today i have managed to do one load of dishes, one load of laundry and another waiting for the wash to be done. i finally took a nice long shower (instead of a bath for it takes too long for my tub to fill up), which did make me feel a little better. tim decided to work on his secret gift for troupe, so i chatted with a couple of folks and on lj and instant message. i talked to the mortgage company, finally, and much to my surprise "donna" was very pleasant and tried to be as helpful as she could. it was a little refreshing. i've got dinner defrosting and i at least have a plan of action where that is concerned. i've even taken some time to do a little reflecting to help me sort and cope with all that is.

so, today was a blah day for me. although, the weather was warm, i have developed the colds that my children have had and there isn't much i can take that will be safe to take with all the other med's i'm on. i really don't like getting colds like this since the first thing to go is my hearing, then my throat from coughing. anyway, my brain doesn't function as well either. i must have drove around in about three different circles just trying to get to one place. then about 2 minutes after i figure out what i'm trying to accomplish i forget where i'm going and before i realize it, i'm no where near where it is i want to be. so, i did manage to get all the things i wanted to while was out and about it just took me an hour longer than it should have. i can't stand being sick. fortunately, thus far i do not have to work at the shop till friday, so i may have a few days of recup time.
shawn had a two hour delay today so, i let him sleep a little longer since he doesn't feel that good either.
i did manage to get my work done as far as the seeds of the future goes or at least the intention part. unfortunatley, i was interrupted at the end by a little person yelling that daddy was calling (only to make sure that i had gotten to work on my seeds). i also did get a chance to light the new brigid candle. i've been wanting to do that for a while but just didn't get to it. yea! so, despite my absent-minded head i did actually accomplish a few things.

kitty, i hope you and j got the plant i left for you. (the box was already there.) i wanted to get you something other than flowers so you could plant them in all yaddle's favorite places and so that it wouldn't be just another thing that will die in a couple of weeks. i found the little pet stake thing at work and thought it would be appropriate for you. and you could put it by her walnut tree. i looked at the gate when i was there today and i don't see how either pup would have been able to get out on their own. i wish there was something i could say that would help ease your pain.
a thought of meditation might be that you could write down all the "why's" and throw them into the fire and let them burn away. or it may at least help
quiet your mind a little. blessings towards the healing process for you and lots of hugs your way. give us a call if you need anything. we are just around the corner.

tim is still searching for some pic's of annette and his mom and lottie.
unfortunately, our recent pic's seemed to have been mistakenly deleted. so, he's on the search for some newer pic's. hopefully, he will find one for the morning. so, thank you for all those who have been able to send energy and again many blessings and hugs to everyone else who isn't feeling good or is have a difficult time right now.
hugs, t & j

tim's mom's partner is having some serious medical problems. tim's mom called today to let us know that Annette (his mom's partner) went to the hospital yesterday because she's been so weak that she hasn't even been able to help lift herself up from one chair to the other. apparently, she had fallen onto the floor and between his mom and her daughter they could not get her up into the chair and they ended up calling 911 to come and help. it took 4 good sized and very strong men to get her onto a rescue board, so they could then get her onto a gernie to take her to the hospital. by the time they got to the hospital she was delirious and her temperature had spiked to over 104 degrees. they iced her down and got the temp down, etc., and after all the blood work, they figured out that she has a very serious uti which is what caused the spike in temp. the hospital decided they were going to keep her there for at least the next week until she actually has enough strength to be able to help at home. she did seem stable today and was starting to actually get some spirit back. unfortunately, some time this afternoon she went into kidney failure in both kidneys and they took her to the anchorage hospital so she can get dialysis. she is still in ok spirits despite all that is happening but the kidney failure is not a good sign as far as recovery goes. more of her body parts are starting to go. she is very receptive to receiving healing energy, so tim will post a photo when he gets home. we also ask that a little energy is sent for strength to tim's mom (linda) and tim's sister (lottie) so they may be able to get through this. they have a few friends in which they can lean on up there but all her family is in the lower 48 states, so unfortunately, tim can not get to alaska to be there for her. i believe that if tim needs extra energy he will ask, so please hold off on sending him any. much appreciation and blessings to everyone.
hugs, julia

my sister is making her way back to maryland. don't any body buy afliac insurance if you live in the salisbury area next year. apparently, my sister and her crew have abandoned their post in johnstown, pa. and headed back to fla. and their gonna abandon ship there, too. her boyfriend is going to get his insurance license and sell afliac insurance, freelance style. so, they are headed this way again sometime after the holidays.

suggestions on protection to my home and all of those who may come into contact with them would be much appreciated at this time, so i may be prepared for their arrival.

my sister is a very pessimistic person and she tends to drain the energy right out of you. her boyfriend is not a very nice person and has a terrible temper along side of a bad and racist attitude.

to give a brief recap of the last time they were here, just after tim and i were hand-fasted. they were told they could stay with us temporarily till they could get on their feet and she could deal with her custody battle with her ex. whilst they were here they promised they would pay tim and i so much per month in order to help with the bills and mortgage since there were four of them and their dog. the first month went ok. the second month wasn't quite as good as the first but bearable. then, things started to go very badly, he decided he wasn't going to get a job but rather rely on auctions and the flea market to support them, but that wasn't who he was supporting. unfortunately, my sister is not very skilled and can't do basic math, so she was having difficulty maintaining jobs. then they started to upset the neighbors and this was becoming a problem. on top of that my bills were getting higher and higher and what was i to do. she has two little girls and i couldn't bear to put them out to the streets. finally, after 5 months of very tense weather here at my house i told her she needed to find another place to go, i simply just couldn't afford it any more. so, in turn she told me that i was responsible for her children being moulested by their grandfather and possibly their father and that all her problems were my fault.
we had a party to celebrate their departure. it has been just over a year since they left and our house has appreciated it greatly. she knows that she will not be able to stay with us but i still feel the need to be safe and make sure that none of her issues/attitudes stick to our home or any of the folks that we are associated with.
i love my sister but i don't want to be her life link.

on that note as i said above any help with preparation of their arrival would be greatly appreciated.